


The Haunting of the fourth key

by mksmith0430



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M, queliot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 17:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mksmith0430/pseuds/mksmith0430
Summary: Quentin has a dream flashback of what he was told when he had to endure the horrors of what is the fourth key. Then Eliot comforts him. WARNING there are mentions of self-harm in this fic.





	The Haunting of the fourth key

**Author's Note:**

> Again warning, there are nondetailed suggestions of self-harm in this fic.

I just want him to stop. To shut up. For even a minute. My mind has been bad at times, but not like this. Never this bad. I just want him to shut. I can’t do it anymore. I know everything that’s wrong with me without having to hear myself say it out loud. To push it into me.  
“You were ready to spend the rest of your life with him. A whole nother 50 years. You clearly loved him so much that you never wanted to let go. But he didn’t love you. Clearly if given a choice he would never pick you.”  
“That’s not true”  
“Yes, it is. We were both there. He only picked you the first time because you were around, you were convenient.”  
“No, we picked each other.” He gets up from his seat across the room. Coming closer to make his point. My point.  
“He took pity on you. He never wanted you. He never cared. He never loved you. No one has ever really loved you. You loved Julia and she never loved you back. Alice was probably glad that you cheated on her so she had a reason to leave you, and Eliot, well Eliot just never could. I mean who would. Look at you, Quentin. You’re a pathetic shell of a man. Why are you even here? No one wants you around. Just go ahead, kill yourself.” He grins. Evil me just says all of this trash this evil and dares to smile at me like I just told a joke?  
“I’m not going to do it.”  
“You know I think that it’s interesting that Eliot dislikes you so much that he sent you out here all alone. He regrets your life together so much that he can’t even stand to look at you. Yet you’re here standing around hoping that one day he’ll come to his senses and fall in love with you all over again. How stupid do you have to be to believe that? Why won’t it sink in that he just doesn’t care? None of them do. If what happened to Alice happened to you no one would put the pieces back together to get you back. They’ll be glad that you’re gone.”  
“No, they won’t they’ll miss me.”  
“Who? Who will miss you? Julia? The girl who sat by and watched you suffer for years and never did anything? How about Alice? She can’t stand your face. All you are to her is an inconvenience, a mistake. Kady? She won’t even notice that you're gone. Oh, and Penny? He’s been trying to get you away from him since he met you. The sight of you makes him want to vomit. What about Margo? You always were her least favorite. She only put up with you because Eliot liked you, but Eliot doesn’t like you anymore does he? Eliot will be glad that you are gone. He might have liked you, but now that he knows how you feel. How you’ve always felt he’s never going to look at you the same. Your friendship will never be the same. Who are you staying alive for? The people you love? The people who have never and will never love you? Give it up, and for once in your pathetic life do something useful and get rid of yourself.”  
“NO,” I scream and keep on screaming. “NO, NO, NO, NO. I won’t, I can’t.” I’m crying and I close my eyes only to open them when I feel myself being shaken. It’s Eliot. Oh, Eliot. He wraps his arms around me in a hug.  
“Q, I’m here. It was just a dream. Just a bad dream. I’m here and I love you.”  
“Please don’t leave El,” I whisper.  
“I would never.” He replies. He kisses me on the head, and I let myself be held by the man I love. The man who loves me. None of it was real. It was all just the key. It’s what it did. Hurt people. But it can’t hurt me, not anymore. They don’t hate me. Eliot doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t hate me and he’s back. There’s no more monster, just Eliot, and he loves me. It’s fine. I’ll be fine as long as I’m in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and comments! Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.


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